The Cleaning Capt'n

Let me begin this evening by telling you that it is a shock to find out that someone likes you and the bad part about it is there straight.

I worked with this one guy lets call him (Juan), He was my cleaning capt. at the job where i work.
Everyday juan would come in like usual at 8 o'clock sharp, not a min early or late. he did his usual and went on about his mary way. well i started hanging out with him on a daily basis, in the afternoon when we both would get off, we would go and have a drink and go home. juan decided he was going back to his home town. so i helped him get a bus ticket and headed home he went.

I talked with Juan last night and we talked about everyting, i mean everything, he was telling me how much he missed me and how much he wanted to give me a hug and hold me and all that, i was like WHOA, dude your straight, at least that what you claim to be anyways, he told me that he had went to jail and he had a bitch in there. i was like, so what you trying to say, im yo bitch now, he was like NO, YOUR no where near that. your special to me, your a friend and i hope to be more than a friend.
I just was in shock when he said that, and somehow i hoped he would have said that before he decided to leave this town, but he didn't. Well to make matters worse, he now wants to date me and i dont know what to tell him, i did tell him that i have a friend that me and him could just be friends an that was it, he really didnt like that idea but was ok with that for the time being and he told me that if the relationship didnt work out he would still be there, and i reminded him that he was straight once again and that i was not, and that we both know where we stand and all, he was like i know all about you and im comfortable with you at all times. thats why i have let you know now how i feel twards you and all.

It was a shock and all, i dont have a clue as to what to do just yet... i will hav to make my decission soon.. unitl then.......GO ME!!!!!!!!!!

Fresh Start

It has been nearly a month since i last wrote to you guys, I haven't really had alot going on, this is the month where i find out if i have to have my surgery, or NOT, iM hopeing NOT.
I went to the Dr last week and he gave me some type of pill that really keeps me calm at all time to keep me from snapping on someone, i really needed that one, i guess.

I met this really Kewl guy that i think i like alot, His name is not that important, at this present time lets just say that im happy right now, for the mean time, i dont know where it might lead to i hope to more happiness for me, who knows what the future holds for me and for him.

Id also like to say that i have met alot of people in my time and most seem to be pretty kewl kats at times, but some can really be a bitch or a turn down for me, especially if i give 100% an they give NONE!!!!

MOTHER

We all have some kind of struggles as we're goin thru life. The biggest challenge 4 1person, can be just piece of cake 4another.
The madness we face
The games we play
The hurt we deal with
The tears we cry.
The love we share..

Eventually all will come2 end

But..
There is only 1person remember ur smile when u come in the room,
the 1st time u walk,
ur 1st word,

YOUR MOTHER!

The greatest pain any MOTHER has 2go thru is to BURY her
own children.

Live strong
Live long
Make ur mother PROUD.

We were meant to live for so much more..

It's Raining, And No Men

Well, how would i start off the day? it raining and i had planned on helping out a friend in the yard today, his roommate and himself have company comming over on tuesday and it looks like its going to be a long day. Dont know when exactly were going to start with the cleaning and all. Guess it will have to wait for another day.

On antoher note, things are looking for the best for right now? Things are going to go on a slow slow basis.

well i told him how i felt and i dont thin i would ever want another person to know exactly how i fee but him, i didnt want him to go one without knowing how i felt and all

The Big Day

Everybody's Always talking about having a Big Day and what it would mean to them to have one. I myself don't have very many of those..a big day for me would be to tell someone how i truly feel in hopes of return that he might feel the same way. a big day for me would be like getting home and seeing the person that i love and trust waiting patiently for me on the couch. he doesnt have to know how to cook or even clean just be himself. thats all i ask. i know one fellow thats like that, he is always himself, his name is not really that important and he would pitch a bitch if i put it in here, but he is the kindest guy that ive ever met, very suttle in his own ways, very pleasant to be around, i honestly deep down think that ive fallen for the guy but dont quite know how to tell him that. I really dont want to scare him off or let him that im just toying with his emotions, i dont do that to people. what should be said and what should be done to make things right from the jump so that i dont have to explain why i feel the way that i feel?? Maybe i should just sit down and kiss him and tell him how i feel in hopes that he will NOT slap the shit out of me.. i konw he would not do that to me i just can tell it, he may act like he would want to but i doubt he would.

Sleepy Days

im sitting up early in the morning, trying to get some sleep but cannot get any sleep, im going to try and get some sleep now