Perfect

I made her...she is different. She's Unique
With love i formed her in her mother's womb.
I fashioned her with great joy.
I remember with great pleasure the day i created her

I love her smile. I love her ways. I love to hear her laugh.
And the silly things she says and does.
She brings me great pleasure. This is how i made her.

I made her pretty and not beautiful, because i know her heart
And knew she would be vain....
I wanted her to search out her heart and learn that it would be Me in her
That would make me beautiful...
And it would be Me in her that would draw friends to her.

I made her in such a way that she would need me.
I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be...
Only because i need for her to lean and depend on me.
I know her heart - I know if i had not made her like this
She would go her own chosen way
And forget me...her Creator.

I have given her many good and happy things...
Because I love her.

Becuase i love her, i have seen her broken heart... and the tears she cried alone.
I have cried with her and had a broken heart too.

Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone.
Only because she would not hold My hand.
So many lessons she's learned the hard way because she would not listen to My Voice.

So many times i have set back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone.
Only to watch her return to My Arms sad and broken.

And now she is mine again.
I made her and then i bought her....
Because i Love her.

I have to reshape and remold her...
To renew her to what i had planned for her to be.
It has not been easy for her or for Me.

I want her to be conformed to My Image...
This high goal I have set for her.
Because I Love Her.

The Cleaning Capt'n

Let me begin this evening by telling you that it is a shock to find out that someone likes you and the bad part about it is there straight.

I worked with this one guy lets call him (Juan), He was my cleaning capt. at the job where i work.
Everyday juan would come in like usual at 8 o'clock sharp, not a min early or late. he did his usual and went on about his mary way. well i started hanging out with him on a daily basis, in the afternoon when we both would get off, we would go and have a drink and go home. juan decided he was going back to his home town. so i helped him get a bus ticket and headed home he went.

I talked with Juan last night and we talked about everyting, i mean everything, he was telling me how much he missed me and how much he wanted to give me a hug and hold me and all that, i was like WHOA, dude your straight, at least that what you claim to be anyways, he told me that he had went to jail and he had a bitch in there. i was like, so what you trying to say, im yo bitch now, he was like NO, YOUR no where near that. your special to me, your a friend and i hope to be more than a friend.
I just was in shock when he said that, and somehow i hoped he would have said that before he decided to leave this town, but he didn't. Well to make matters worse, he now wants to date me and i dont know what to tell him, i did tell him that i have a friend that me and him could just be friends an that was it, he really didnt like that idea but was ok with that for the time being and he told me that if the relationship didnt work out he would still be there, and i reminded him that he was straight once again and that i was not, and that we both know where we stand and all, he was like i know all about you and im comfortable with you at all times. thats why i have let you know now how i feel twards you and all.

It was a shock and all, i dont have a clue as to what to do just yet... i will hav to make my decission soon.. unitl then.......GO ME!!!!!!!!!!

Fresh Start

It has been nearly a month since i last wrote to you guys, I haven't really had alot going on, this is the month where i find out if i have to have my surgery, or NOT, iM hopeing NOT.
I went to the Dr last week and he gave me some type of pill that really keeps me calm at all time to keep me from snapping on someone, i really needed that one, i guess.

I met this really Kewl guy that i think i like alot, His name is not that important, at this present time lets just say that im happy right now, for the mean time, i dont know where it might lead to i hope to more happiness for me, who knows what the future holds for me and for him.

Id also like to say that i have met alot of people in my time and most seem to be pretty kewl kats at times, but some can really be a bitch or a turn down for me, especially if i give 100% an they give NONE!!!!